| Phuket |
[May. 1st, 2012|01:24 pm] |
I haven't been on here in the longest time. Thought I'd revisit writing again. I'm leaving for Phuket tomorrow with two of my girlfriends. How's life? Life's alright. It can always be better. It gets pretty quiet but that's that I suppose. I feel like I'm at a position in my life where it would be nice to be in a relationship instead of just dating a different guy every month. I don't want to be one of the girls who is defined by her relationship. Like I don't want to be a chameleon, changing with every different relationship that I end up losing myself. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 28th, 2011|02:40 pm] |
So, it's been eons since I last posted on here. I actually forgot that I had this even. Lately, I've been feeling so emotional it sucks. It just gets me down everytime. Just when I think that I'm doing great, a memory of us has to trigger an emotion so overwhelming that it brings me to tears. The thought of us never ever happening in the future breaks my heart. Will it ever heal? I don't know. It's been almost a year now. Been partying nights away to bury the pain, but naturally, it keeps surfacing. I feel like I need someone or something to fill the void. This blank space that is in thorough need of filling. |
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| It's been awhile.. |
[Oct. 11th, 2010|08:16 pm] |
Ok. Wow, so like I don't even remember when was the last time I actually updated this thing. But I decided that maybe I should start again. Cyberspace is a crazy space. It's got so many things tangled all up inside you can't really separate one from the other. So i thought I would actually maybe link my videos from youtube to here. LOL.
I don't know if this is gonna be a good or bad idea. I'm prepared to get slammed. )): Oh well, all in good fun yes? No? Not much I can do about that then..
So in this latest video upload, as usual I talk about a load of crap. HAHA! I talked about my assignments that are due within the week and that sorta thing. But there is one important thing I asked in this video. What should I do to my hair?! What do you think I should do with it? Please don't tell me something ridiculous like shaving my hair all off. I don't think I could ever do that to myself. I'm not THAT brave. ):
Love,
Ely |
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| nightmares that stay to haunt even when you wake |
[Aug. 7th, 2010|11:22 pm] |
| [ | i'm |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | title - artist |
| | Lily Allen - I Could Say | ] |
I had a really horrible nightmare this morning that caused me to wake in tears. It was so awful I couldn't go back to sleep. What this dream was may you ask? I would love to tell you but I won't. Simply because I really just don't want to remember. The images, so vivid I thought it was real. So much so, I'm afraid to sleep tonight. I don't want to go through such a thing ever again. It's too painful. It's almost the end of the day, yet I'm still feeling listless because of the dream. I would love to go for a swim to get it off my mind even for awhile. But it just won't seem to leave my mind or my thoughts. It feels like I've been dumped all over again and the wounds are freshly reopened. The wounds that I've let time heal but wouldn't.
I'd like to say I'm over you. But clearly I'm not.
They say you never forget your first love. I don't want to forget it. I just want to remember it with good memories. All I see in my mind is the pain. And it's not even your fault because it's just my imagination running on overdrive. I would like to erase you from my mind like what happens in the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Yet just like in that movie, I know that at the end of it all, I'd still want to have the memories we've created together because unlike you, the memories I have and hold so dearly to my heart will never change as we would in time.
The worst part of it all?
When I awoke from that terrible dream, I had to tell someone immediately and I texted you of the dream the I'd had when I wanted to let someone else know. I didn't want you to know of it. I don't want you to either. I just want to move on. But I find that so hard because there are so little of your kind out there. Not many will make the cut. Even if they do, they're out of reach.
Because, you, dearly beloved, are one in a million. |
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| i like to know that i am being taken seriously |
[Jul. 10th, 2010|08:39 am] |
| [ | i'm |
| |  annoyed | ] |
honestly, there are times when i feel my parents don't take me seriously. like umm wtf?
not my fault my plans for 2nd guarantor got hijacked what. i mean c'mon... things happen.. you get over it. we move on. end of story. there's no need to throw such a hissy fit that we had to find a 2nd guarantor at the last friggin minute. what did my dad say? u knew u had to find a guarantor then only know you tell us? i swear i wanted to lash out at him. but decided against that very notion. like omg? do u think im that dumb? to not have a second guarantor at the ready? if i didn't have my friend's word that he'd be able to place as 2nd guarantor at the beginning of the week, i would have totally already mentioned it?. seriously? i'm not that carefree.. -.- goodness.. only rinn would've known how pissed i was when i received the news at the last min.
seriously though, i may be the so-called carefree one, as SOME people would say, but that doesn't mean i can't be serious.
xoxo |
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| just keep swimming |
[Jul. 9th, 2010|11:18 pm] |
| [ | i'm |
| |  tired | ] |
:)))))
yay. just came back from swimming session with ARINI!!! LOL. i don't even call her that. anyways, swimming was fun. and now i'm starting to ache all over. goodie!!! it's great to know the swim amounted to something. i really should get a weighing scale. at least i'll be able to keep track of my weight. and possible progress. :)
and the worst part. tmr need to go friggin NTU?! haiyo.... it really is so troublesome. :S and i need to bring to sureties along. thank god fyaz's brother is able to come in place of Azri. honestly. thanks uh eh. -.-
PS : i foresee more swimming at sengkang. :D
xoxo |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 3rd, 2010|02:26 am] |
Ok.. Well hello world. It's 2.20 AM!!! and I'm still not in bed yet. I've been so bored these few days with nothing to do. So basically I've just been sitting in front of this thing we call the laptop. *sigh* SUCH A NO LIFE!
To be honest, I can't wait for school to start, because then I'd have something to look forward to! WOO! Hopefully dad allows me to apply for hall! I mean it's my first year and the timetable's gonna hectic right?! yeah. so please please please let me stay in hall! :DD i don't even mind if i can't find a roomie and they give me one. I mean hall's all about making new friends right?! YES! WOOO~
omg. i swear. i need to revert my body clock to start sleeping earlier. it's like now.. i mean it's half 2 in the morning. and here i am blogging. when i'm supposed to be in bed sleeping. i've tried to sleep trust me. it's such a chore. :S it's like i lie in bed forcing myself to sleep. and i don't fall asleep. i try for like half an hour. doesn't work. ok.. *gets up and goes to kitchen to get a glass of water* (maybe this will help) drinks a little water. and heads back to bed. then i'd toss and turn for another half hour or more and then i'd still be awake. and because of the tossing and turning. it'll get really warm. and that makes it alot worse because then it gets harder to sleep!!!! grrrr...
if anything. the only thing i'll miss when i do get my body clock reverted is not being able to talk to chris til the wee hours of the morning. :(((
xoxo |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2010|05:49 pm] |
| [ | i'm |
| | bored | ] |
omg. right about now.. i wish i had something to do. and i wish that i had loads and loads of money to do whatever i wanted. and i wish that i'd already gotten my license. and that i wish i could travel the world. gahhhh. so bored.
xoxo
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2010|04:11 pm] |
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school starts the end of august. :S
excited and scared and worried altogether.. -.-
i wanna go places! europe, the states, THE WORLD! :D
heee.. i love knowing people from all over the place. :D hahaha if i go florida, there's roger. if i go scotland (!!), there's chris (awww. loveee) hahaha. then there's UK, where hani is when she gets back there. LOL. then if lynn follows along, there's her aunt in swiss. and we can go france and italy and everywhere. :DDDDDDD
cannot wait to travel the world. money oh money.. please fall from the sky and STRAIGHT into my lap! :D
xoxo
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| (no subject) |
[May. 27th, 2010|11:36 am] |
So this is how my day is going to go later on..
I'm still at home. WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE GONE SWIMMING(?!!) Oh well.. Then I'm gonna meet my friend at CGH because she works there and she took home my new favourite pair of wedges by accident. LOL! Then i'm supposed to meet another one of my friends to accompany her to an interview at Ngee Ann City aka Takashimaya. YUP!! But when she gets a job.. OMG. I WILL BE SO FUCKING BORED OUT OF MY BLOODY WITS! And it'll be the June holidays soon. So that sucks. BECAUSE.. There'll be kids everywhere and my freedom of space is gonna get taken up by kids running and screraming all over. At least there's tuition to tide me over. :S Gotta start getting papers for them.. Assesments are not gonna be enough.. Yikes! I painted my nails GREEN! LOL They're now a cross between neon and candy green? I think. Lol. Oh yeah. After the interview, guess will just be chilling around and people watch at some cafe or smth.. :)) So wanted to go clubbing yesterday. Bleagh. OH well..
On a sidenote, does anyone know what a provisional offer means? Does that mean i get accepted in to the course?!
On another sidenote, I gotta run. LOL MAJOR EXPLOSIVE PROBLEM COMING ON.
On yet ANOTHER sidenote, it's 16 more days to WORLD CUP 2010!!! WOOOO~ |
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imely's journal
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